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WHICH TRIBE IS MORE ROMANTIC?

2010-06-15T04:35:00.000-07:00

I was at a wedding recently and trust your ‘career amebo’ whose nose is always tuned and ready to sniff out anything out of the ordinary; I was curious about the communication between the couple, don’t get me wrong the couple were obviously in love but there was something missing. The groom was so macho and seemed so emotionally detached that I started reminiscing on my previously attended weddings (by the way, the groom was YORUBA). I am no tribalist but it appears that our Ibo-brothers are packing on the romantic accolades and awards. They seem to be more sympathetic and understanding of their new-wives whereas our wonderful Yoruba brothers (I am Yoruba by the way) seem to be all macho and manly about the whole thing. I remember reading a story of one fine Ibo brother who proposed to his wife by taking her to dinner on a boat. He had arranged with the Boat Company to have their song playing when they arrived and proposed to her there and then. Whereas on the flip side I remember how my friend told me how crappy her proposal was and that if marrying her husband depended on his proposal, he would most definitely not be her husband today.

So people what’s your take on this? Who is more romantic? Our Yoruba brothers or Ibo brothers? I would love to hear from you.

THE PROPOSAL

2010-05-17T06:54:00.000-07:00

It’s wedding month at Oaken and we are kick starting in an unusual way by dealing with a topic that concerns the male folk which is -the art of THE PROPOSAL.

In a recent poll in the USA 85% of women stated they were appalled at the way they were proposed to (if this is obtainable in the USA!!!, wetin we go find for NAIJA).

The marriage proposal is one of the most significant moments in the lives of a couple, I would want to say it is as important as the wedding ceremony, therefore GUYS you gotta DO IT RIGHT! As you only get one chance at it.

A lot of us believe that proposals are expensive; but the truth is the most memorable proposals RARELY cost a lot of money. Most guys ruin their proposal by throwing too much money at it, and not enough thought and planning. If you're a serious, formal kind of guy -- make a serious, formal proposal. If you're a romantic kind of guy, by all means romance her. And if both of you are daring types, she might prefer something bold and unusual. Just be yourself, but definitely make it something she will never forget.

Here are few proposal ideas you might want to adopt;

1. For a very traditional approach, ask her father for her hand in marriage. When the approval is given, make plans for the next family gathering and make your proposal to her in private with the ring in hand. When she says yes, stand up and announce your engagement to everyone.

2. Take the engagement ring and tie a thread to it. Tie the other end of the thread around your finger. Tell your partner, "I have a present for you, but there's a string attached."

3. If your partner loves a little mystery, deliver a letter to her with a bouquet of flowers. Let the letter serve as the first clue to a treasure hunt. At the end of the hunt she'll find you, on your knees, holding the ring.

4. During a special evening, present her with three roses: Tell her one represents the past, one represents the present, and the last one (with the ring tied to it) represents the future.

5. Buy a small book of poetry and make a cutout the size of the ring through all of the pages. Place and tape the ring into the empty space. Write your own special poem, insert it into the first page of the book and present it to her.

6. If you have a talking bird or parrot, train it to say, "Will you marry me?" And make a big show with the new words he has learned -- at a romantic moment

7. Mail her a romantic poem from Shakespeare. Include a photo of yourself on your knees with a ring in your hand, and write on the back in marker, "Will you marry me?" Be ready, make sure you are there with the ring when she opens the mail, then go on your knees and propose.

8. Deliver one rose to her every hour for 11 hours. On the 12th hour show up to meet her and propose.

9. Cook and set an elaborate candlelight table (or cater if you are not talented in the kitchen) for a quiet romantic dinner for two at home. Serve her a glass of champagne with the ring in the bottom or ribboned to the stem

10. Have the DJ of her favorite radio program ask her if she will marry you. You will want to make sure that you are aware of the exact time that the DJ will be sending your message so that you are able to ensure that you and your girlfriend are listening together when he makes the announcement. You could also arrange to have the DJ play a song that has a special meaning for you as a couple so that you can enjoy a dance together after she accepts your proposal

11. For the chocoholic: Chocolate-dip the diamond box, and put it in the center of a box of chocolates when you are alone for the evening. She will always wonder what's in the largest piece of candy. Pick it up for her and open it with style and propose to her.

12. During dinner at your favorite restaurant, arrange with the waiter to have the ring in a box as one of the choices on the dessert tray. Tell her she is the sweetest thing you know and you can't resist her any longer.

13. Create a personal Web page with her name and your proposal with a picture of the ring in its presentation box, and send her the Web address. Or sit down together to surf for websites or facebook, and visit a site or two before you type in the site address.

14. Decorate a Christmas tree with lights and only one ornament -- a ribbon or bow tied around a velvet ring box. Ask her over for a Christmas celebration for just the two or you.

15. Finally have an artist paint her portrait, adding a box with a loose diamond in her hand before you present it. When you present the portrait, have the ring ready when she asks about it.

This proposal ideas do not guaranty she would accept but they sure earn you respect and I can assure you she would most definitely think about you.

THE TRUE GIFT OF A GIFT

2010-05-07T09:09:00.000-07:00

A gift is so much more than a present. It is
literally an expression of who you are, like your
very own special signature; allowing you to
leave a lasting impression.
Conventionally, there are various occasions
where gifts are given but you really don’t have
to wait for an occasion. Some of the best gifts
are the ones that simply say, “There’s no
particular reason for this other than that I was
thinking about you and that I care….” Gifts
provide you with a means of expressing
thoughts and feelings that are sometimes
difficult to capture with words alone. Since
occasions are diverse, it is important to ensure
that your gift is tailor made to reflect who you
are and say what you want to say.
An appropriate gift will often times create a
scenario for an immediate expression from the
recipient. A new pair of elegant shoes on her
birthday for instance, makes Naomi say, “I
can’t wait to wear you to work tomorrow” or
Emeka’s new pen from his wife on his promotion
to Chief Editor of The Morning Times
elicited this response, “I feel inspired to write!”
Isn’t that what we want; for our gifts to invoke
such excitement?
Most of us are either too busy or dare I say lazy
and don’t know what is considered appropriate,
so end up giving money as a gift. While
there’s nothing wrong with this gesture, it tends
to rob us off the true intent of what we wish to
convey.
“I’m truly sorry…”
“I thought you would really like this…”
“This is only the beginning…”
“You deserve much more…”
These are just some of the powerful catch
phrases that are uttered when we give gifts. It
is an expression of how we truly feel or what we
think of the recipient. Never underestimate the
positive effect it has on a person, just to know
that someone was thinking about them and
cared enough to pay a little attention to detail.
The right gift doesn’t have to cost you an eye,
tooth and a leg. In fact, never be overly
concerned about the monetary value of any gift
beacuseit is the thoughts and feelings behind
the gift that count, and they are…priceless.
A gift does not necessarily have to be wrapped
but when it is, it can be a wonder to behold.
Today, our options for gift-wrapping accessories
like gift wrap paper, gift bags, gift boxes,
bows and ribbons are limitless. They come in
various shapes, sizes, patterns and colors and
give your gift character and class. I like to think
that a well-wrapped gift transforms your
present into a presentation!
So, the next time you want to give a gift, pause,
think about the person and creating a pleasant
lasting impression…one that is sure make a
beautiful memory.